Even when I could afford to go to Pakistan from the U.S. every year or even every six months, I did not want to go despite wanting to spend precious time with my family. I knew the plane would cross the Atlantic, and I have always had an enormous fear of water. If I saw a large body of water, I felt like fainting. Whenever I traveled from the U.S. to Pakistan, and the plane passed over the ocean, I wouldn’t stop shaking in fear. I always had this image of the airplane falling into the sea. I would search for plane crashes in the water before every travel. My fear of water knew no bounds. A full bathtub made me feel like I could drown in there. I could not sit in a boat because I thought I would soak in the water. If I had to drive over a bridge over a body of water, I would try and find a route that would not involve water.

Then my arthritis made its presence known. I could not walk for 10 minutes without screaming in pain and limping. Utter devastation is how I would describe my feeling. I knew that I could not work out at all; I could not walk for exercise or move for my health. One of the activities my doctor suggested was swimming, and at first, I recoiled in horror; swimming was out of the question. Me inside a swimming pool invoked images of being in the water, not coming up from underneath the water and dying in the water. However, weight loss was another suggestion that my doctor made; 15 kg would be suitable. I know that healthy loss involves working out and eating a proper/healthy diet. It took me two months of soul-searching before I finally contacted a swimming teacher recommended by a friend. After about 10 lessons, I am treading water and swimming with the help of floating devices. Water does not look so scary. The fear is there but not a blinding, panic-stricken, full-blown attack.